AFAB Genderqueer Transmasculine Feminist: Inner Battle

[krys86]

This past month coming to terms with my Gender Identity as a Genderqueer, Non-Binary, Transmasculine, Demiguy, has been a much experience for me, than when I came out about my Sexual Orientation as Lesbian in the summer of 2005, but it was not easy for me to come to this point in my life mainly because of this conflict that I had between my male identity and my female identity. For the longest time, I felt torn up inside, because I felt like I had to choose only a part of myself. I honestly felt guilty for having this male side to myself, because I thought accepting the male part of my gender identity would be an act of disrespect and betrayal to the female part of my identity and thus a contradiction of my Lesbian identity. However, after spreading my wings and learning more about myself over the years, I have learned that this was far from the truth. Because as stated in by Roey Thorpe, "In short, the gender of who we love has always been a separate question from our own gender expression, and our attempt to consolidate gender identity and expression with sexual orientation has led us to a fundamental misunderstanding of the trans experience."

Has anyone else had this experience?