Sketch Remixes

[Kat]

I thought it would be interesting to post chatroom related parodies/remixes here for humour value. Please post your own here, too.

I'll start with one that popped into my head today after seeing a certain movie on TV...

The following is a hypothetical interview with a Greeter candidate in a parallel universe...

Chat Runner

“Reaction time is a factor in this test, so please pay attention. Now, answer as quickly as you can.”

“Okay.”

“85253, 81082, H2J 1L2 –”

“Those are postal codes of SRS surgeons.”

“What?”

“I memorized them when I was a kid.”

“Did you have fun doing that?”

“Yeah, I guess. Is this part of the test?”

“No, just warming you up, that’s all.”

“Oh, it’s not hard or anything?”

“You’re browsing the internet, sipping coffee, when you see someone cursing in a chatroom.”

“Is this the test now?”

“Yes. You look into the chatroom, and you see someone talking about their problem –”

“Which one?”

“What?”

“What problem are they talking about?”

“It doesn’t make any difference. You look down and –”

“But what am I doing at that chatroom?”

“Maybe you’re bored. Maybe you're looking for friends. Who knows? You look at the screen and their soliloquy is full of problems in their life…

“Soliloquy? What’s that?”

“Know what a monolog is?”

“Sure.”

“Same thing. You just stand there and stare at all the problems –”

“Do you make these questions up, or do they write them down for you?”

“– the person is trying to fix them, but they just don’t see a way out; they keep making things worse and worse and now they have thousands of problems, filling their life. But you’re just standing there, not helping. They’re utterly lost but you’re not offering any advice –”

“What do you mean, I just stand there?”

“I mean, you don’t do anything. Why is that?”

(silence)

“They’re just questions. In answer to your query, no, these are written down on the interview sheet. It’s a test, designed to provoke a response. Shall we continue? Describe in single words, only the good things that come in to your mind about … trolls.”

“Let me tell you about trolls…”