wrong skin pt 2

[greeneggs]

How frustrating my life has been, always having to hide how I feel
But I know had I completely expressed myself growing up, many people wouldnt have been able to deal
I was afraid of embarrassing my family and friends, I lived in fear most the time-
Fear of rejection or possibly being sent away for awhile, or even a lifetime
My life has been so confusing as well up to this point, feeling male, but only being seen as female in everyones eyes
All my life has been lived to make everyone ELSE happy with who I am, but really its been a bunch of lies
Ive never been able to truly be MYSELF, without fear of being frowned upon by those around me
For once Id love to be who I AM, without getting the look of disapproval, wish theyd just let me be!
I used to think something was wrong with me, surely no one else could understand what i felt inside
It seemed that being more masculine was unacceptable to society, so I felt that, I had to hide
but it wasnt always easy, it still seemed to show through
No matter how "feminine" I TRIED to act, everyone still knew
So most my life i was accused of a "tomboy" and/or "gay"
I didnt know how to handle that, so I just wanted to run away
So much makes sense now , that I didnt understand as a kid
I wonder how Ive gone 29 yrs of life not knowing it was because I AM male, now Im wishing I did...
I think I did know all along
But thought somehow, that idea must be wrong
Ive come to accept that it is what it is, now its time to take steps so that I can feel whole
I want to make changes to appear as a man, that is now my goal
I hope one day everyone can just accept me for who I truly am
Hopefully in time, theyll stop seeing me as a woman, but instead see me for the man that I am

[friendindtw]

THANK YOU for all your honesty! You have helped me really see some of my friend's struggles. It's like a light just went on, thank you. Always take time for yourself, you've earned it, you deserve it, and the Universe wants you to have it.
--Linda

[zev12]

Amazing!

[marissa_h]

absolutely awesome. thank you for sharing. i feel the exact opposite (mtf) and yet exactly the same. i hope you are able to find happiness and i wish you the best of luck.