I took a pill and went to sleep today.

[erica123]

I took a pill and went to sleep today.
Perhaps I should have taken a handful and not woken up at all.
I look in the mirror and it hurts so damn much.
Will it ever get better? Will I ever stop feeling so small?

I guess it's got to get better or I'll just go home to God.
I need to stop doing this. Beating myself with a rod.
But somehow I can't. Sometimes it just feels better.
So here I find myself now, writing you this letter.
And if I can't get past this. Right now, right here tonight.
I'm taking that handful of pills and allowing my soul to take flight.
And if I should die before the sun reaches the morrow.
I don't want any tears. My intent is not to cause sorrow.

I took a pill and went to sleep today.
Perhaps I should have taken a handful, but alas, I'll take just one.
I look in the mirror and it hurts so much sometimes.
Maybe God will grant me some peace.
Allow me sweet dreams.
Allow to feel more like myself.
Maybe tomorrow when the sun does rise...
These thoughts in my head will be forgotten.
I won't feel so rotten.
Maybe tomorrow when the sun does rise...
I'll manage another day and in that, perhaps, I've won.

Erica Elizabeth Ravenwood

[b_marie23]

Yes, you have won honey! Keep writing, keep taking it one day at a time, and remember that you will never find happiness at the bottom of a jar of pills!