Stupid mistake

[msty_me]

A long time ago I was traveling to work on the train. I had already been female for a few years. I passed 99% of the time. Sometimes kids could pick me. On this day two young school girls were standing beside me - I was sitting down. The young Asian girl said to the other, ‘So you haven’t had the operation yet?’ and the other girl replied in a male voice, ‘No I can’t. Not until I am eighteen.’

I was dumbstruck but thrilled at the same time. I couldn’t believe such a young TS was going to school as female. How the times had changed. Then I realised she was trying to make contact with me. I suspect she knew I was TS but I didn’t look at her or say anything. In my mind I said the most stupid thing to myself, ‘Sorry kid, you’re on your own, that’s just how it is for all of us.’ And ignored her.

I have been kicking myself ever since and wished I could turn back time to say hello. I remember when I was 15yo and wanting to meet an older TS that had transitioned if just to hear them tell me I was alright. That’s what I should have done for that young girl, but it was too late.

Ever since then I have wanted to provide support or help in some way for transgendered youth. I am a qualified counselor and now trying to make a more concerted effort to help transgendered youth.

[JaneS]

There could be many reasons why you didn't speak to the young girl, or to offer her encouragement but like many incidents in our lives we sometimes don't recognise an opportunity until it is no longer available.

One thing to remember is that there were two girls so at least the TS girl had a supportive friend. Perhaps they were both transgender but even if not, that young girl was at least not alone.

I am glad that you have sought to help others and I am sure that you do so very well. Experience can be a great teacher.

Maybe not a stupid mistake - more another lesson in life.