Transgender Forum

I want to get some feed back on this first but this is what I was thinking.

I'd like a place/thread where you can tell your story, not a poem, not a fiction type thing but real.
Not for graphic stuff, like sex or terrible violence, maybe in another thread (tongue out) but more
like something for people to read and get to know you or someone like them.

May I suggest no names (besides yours! twak) or change names if you want, just to keep it from
you and to protect the innocent LOL (Que Dragnet music).

Only 400 words per story please (so it can be easy to read) and if it's longer just make it into sections like; Part I, Part II, The early years, etc and put all you want bow salute hug

Now if you have any and all suggestions please let me know here

I would like to thank you for sharing this Marla, hug

Ill tell my story so that people know that not everyone will know as a child. As a child all the way up through high school I never had the thought that I may not actually be a girl, but I never felt comfortable with who I was either. My parents kept me very sheltered and I hardly even knew what being gay was. When I went to college and had freedom to explore life and who I was was when a lot of things began to change. Freshmen year of college my best friend turned out to be bisexual and she was my foot in the door to learning about the community. After talking to a lot of people and doing a lot of thinking I came out as a lesbian. I lived as a lesbian for about a year.. experiencing my first ever relationships and stil trying to figure out who I was. I stil wasnt happy with who I was but it felt a little closer than I had before. Durring the summer after freshmen year a friend of mine I met on the internet told me that he thought he may be trans. I didnt know anything at all about trans people or what it meant to be trans. I talked to him for awhile about what that meant and did research on my own. Part of my research brought me to this chat room. After all that research and thinking I decided that a lot of trans people felt the same way I did and that I to was trans. I doubted myself a lot because so many trans people say they knew at 5 or started crossdressing when they were just a kid and I never really did any of that. Most of my life I tried to be "girly" and to live up to the role that was expected of me and I never deviated from it. But I know now that everyone comes to terms with who they are at a different rate and that its ok that it took me longer than most.

Ok here goes This is not so much a story as it is an opening scene, The story yet unwritten with me stuck right in the middle.

I dont know how old i was but its must have been early school days, I remember it was the second house id lived in. Then this thought came into my head, naturally i pushed it away but it would always return and i pretty much remember being depressed from that point on. so i get to about 15 or 16 and the school counselor is like yo dog you depressed dont sewerside lol (thats not what they said)
anyway i made it to 18 with suicide and strong possibility, some close calls only one that anyone other that me knew about, something holding me back kinda. So here I am 21 no more that 2 weeks ago I went Fuck it Im done, In the middle of the night i went out looking for a large drop to well you know...........
But somehow i came back from the brink, A small glimmer of hope maybe i could survive.
But this was just the eye of the storm i knew that. The next day i wrote a note coz i hadnt did that, i said to myself if i can show my mum this today i can make it, its do or die. Spoiler: I showed her. i was all like i wrote you a poem and right when she was about to open it i said its not a poem. Subtle as fuck.
so now im here starting down this path i didnt chose. oh and later she said This makes a lot of sense.

I think ill be ok

Growing up I was always called a "Tomboy" and I honestly saw myself as a boy with a vulva. I was allowed to be myself as a child, but of course with limitations, because I was my mom's little girl. My mom has always been a strong self sufficient woman and that combined with feminist movement I was socially granted permission to get as filthy as I wanted when I played no matter how "boyish" it seemed. There were lots of times when my mom and other adults would try to make me pretty or when they would try to correct my behavior. I would often throw tempertantrums. I was happy, but rebellious until puberty, when the boobies came, because I felt like I had to let my male identity die and that I had to learn how to be a better female. I pushed my brother away because I was jealous of him and thought I had to stop being so much like him. I hid in my room battling religion, puberty, gender and sexuality. I didn't do a good job at being a heterosexual female and searched for a way out.

The summer before my freshman year at Syracuse I came out as lesbian and that was a huge step for me, because this title is definitely true, but only to part of my gender identity; the female part that is socially acceptable. But none the less, this was the beginning of me healing my broken self. I went through relationships and exploration. I purged the false oppressive religious ideologies.

After I graduated from Syracuse in 2009, I moved to FL the land of the gator football and found a great community. This community gave me room to explore myself and love myself and I came out as Genderqueer this past week. I am happy that I have reached a point in my life where I can be my ENTIRE self and not just a small part and I am so grateful to have such loving people in my life.

I am a Lesbian Genderqueer who feels more male than female and sometimes other or neither. I want breast reduction that still gives female contour but is easily hidden with baggy t-shirts, I want transmasculine appearance and want to experiment with packing and enjoy wearing strap on, but I don't want testosterone or facial hair.

Thank you for sharing your story Krys. One of the lovely things about much of today's society is that we are finding more and more that we can express our gender diversity.

I wish you well and I hope that things continue to move ahead for you.

If only we could swap those parts of you that you don't want with the parts of me that I don't want.

Best wishes,

Jane