like a father... (fiction)[*warning - graphic*]

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sarah_aus
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like a father... (fiction)[*warning - graphic*]

Post by sarah_aus » Wed Oct 27, 2010 3:40 am

*Ok, so I wrote this the other night, when I was having a pretty low day, its not based on experience, but rather, imagination, one of the ways I see coming out to my father playing out in my head.... I haven't written for a long time... and wanted to clear up the fact that this is just a story
(Also re-wrote a couple of parts/changed)

Hugs,

Sarah


Like a father should....

Flesh coloured impact from the left....

"d-da..d...wha..." another from the right.....this one connects with my jaw...

forcing me back into the car, I feel the mirror digging into my back, snapping under the force, the window smashes.

"you...you...worthless, waste of space!" he seethes...."you're not my son"
I can hear the tremor in his voice, I don't think I've ever seen him this angry before...No, not angry....Disappointed

I don't fight back....I can't fight back....he's too strong....I'm too scared, I was always scared of him...

blood dripping from his fist as he raises it to my face again, he grabs the front of my shirt....his fist shaking, white knuckles

Is that his blood or mine?

"go on" I gasp, tears already forming in my eyes "if it makes you feel better.... do it..." I can't look him in the eye....I close my eyes and brace myself for the inevitable impact....

nothing.

I open my eyes, slowly....first one, then the other....

he's just standing there. fist still raised, like a cobra, waiting to strike its prey....

"y-you're right d-dad...I'm not your son...I never was..." I barely whisper, tears rolling down my face...

grabbing my shoulder, He roughly shoves me back against the car....I feel his forearm against my throat...still wet from the blood...

"just...." he pauses, I think he's going to explode "...get out of here, you..." he trails off

"y-you had to kn-ow....y-you m-must ha-ve" I squeak...my voice sounding strained and weak.

"SHUT UP" he screams...."YOU, Y-OU ABOMINATION!"

the look in his eyes.... I know that look.....I've seen it before

Hate.

he shoves me to the ground....towering over me...threatening... his shadow blocking out the light...

pain sears through my palm, as it lands in the glistening shards of glass

"........." he opens his mouth, as if to say something, but no words come out...

I lay there on the driveway, too scared to move.... cowering under him, my eyes downcast, suddenly interested in the oil, the glass, the blood on the pavement...

"look at me" he's almost crying "look at me" louder this time

I lift my eyes to meet his... "...how could you do this to me?" he sobs

clutching my hand tightly "I-I d-didn't ask for this" I motion to myself

"you make me sick" he spat "don't ever come back here"

I knew he would react this way, and still I came, why did I come here?

Was I punishing myself? Did I think I deserved this?

no that wasn't it...

Hope... Hope that he could act like a father should act.... Hope that he would welcome me with open arms

I pick myself up, hurting all-over, shake it off - it doesn't matter right now....

I take one last look at that house, at him....

"goodbye" I practically whisper - more to myself than to him

no response.

I turn my back, on him, on that house, on that life...for the last time

why couldn't he just act...

...like a father should?
Last edited by sarah_aus on Fri Oct 29, 2010 2:51 am, edited 1 time in total.

deanna
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Re: like a father... (fiction)[*warning - graphic*]

Post by deanna » Thu Oct 28, 2010 5:30 pm

Powerfully writen. I wish this wasnt the reality for so many of our brothers and sisters.

Dantor
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Re: like a father... (fiction)[*warning - graphic*]

Post by Dantor » Thu Oct 28, 2010 5:41 pm

wow Sarah hugz

sarah_aus
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Re: like a father... (fiction)[*warning - graphic*]

Post by sarah_aus » Fri Oct 29, 2010 2:55 am

Thanks for the replies, I've now edited the story a little more and wanted to add an introduction of sorts - I'm not out to my dad, or anyone else for that matter, other than my therapist and my partner.
I haven't experienced anything like this, but the feelings and themes in the story are true, I am scared of my dad, scared of what he might think, scared of his views, scared of his reactions, he is the one person that I fear/worry about more than anyone else, I worry from time to time about the rest of my family, but, he is the only one that I am worried about the reaction, the only person whos opinion makes a difference to me, the person I don't feel I could stand to lose

Thanks for reading

Hugs,

Sarah

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Re: like a father... (fiction)[*warning - graphic*]

Post by kellys » Fri Oct 29, 2010 11:55 pm

I'm grateful that my family have all been accepting of me, lest a story like this occur.. Well written Sarah..

And I know who you are.. :D
Image

sarah_aus
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Re: like a father... (fiction)[*warning - graphic*]

Post by sarah_aus » Sat Oct 30, 2010 9:45 pm

Thanks Kelly ;) Hopefully the real deal won't be quite this bad lol

Hugs,

Sarah

jirra
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Re: like a father... (fiction)[*warning - graphic*]

Post by jirra » Mon Dec 06, 2010 3:36 pm

Wow ....Sarah what a powerful story..... I really hope that is all it will be , A story , And that the reality will be a lot different , Hopefully sometime in the future you will write another story , this time not fiction, But with a much happier ending ....

hugs Jirra

sarah_aus
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Re: like a father... (fiction)[*warning - graphic*]

Post by sarah_aus » Mon Jan 31, 2011 11:37 pm

Thanks Jirra, I hope so too...

~Sarah

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