ftm and father issues

Support for TGs raising children

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ftm and father issues

Post by Russell » Thu Apr 21, 2011 4:33 pm

Hi. I'm Russell and I recently came out as ftm to my father (my mother already knew). I met uo with him (and my mother was present for moral support) and it took me 25 minutes of sitting not being able to get any words out. Then I blurted it out and told him. And he was stunned and shocked, just as you'd expect him to be. And aftrer a lot of talking, by the end of the conversation he was beginninge to come to terms with it (a little).

I'd been so nervous about telling him. All day, I hadn't felt that bothered about it, didn't feel nervous. But just before I got in his car when he picked me up because I told him I wanted to talk to him I got incredibly nervous, which annoyed me because I tend to pride myself on not caring what he thinks.

He was shocked and we discussed it for ages, the three of us. But in the end, he seemed to be fairly accepting of it. Said so long as I'm happy, that's all he cares about. And though he said this stuff and most people - especially those in my position - would be grateful and happy at this outcome, a big part of me (bigger than I'd like to admit) wished he'd gone in the other direction. Even now, I sort of wish that he'd freaked out and disowned me because I've been looking for a way to get him out of my life for good and a crazy part of me thought that when I eventually had the courage to tell him that if he freaked out, he'd be out of my life for good.

Basically (and very basically), my "father" abandoned my family to be with the woman he'd been seeing for a long time, a woman who pretended to be my mother's friend so she could get closer to Mark (my father). After he left, my mother started drinking and I had to pretty keep the family together when I was six years old. As it turns out, Mark was supplying my mum with alcohol because we didn't have much money and it kept her quiet, kept her from kicking up a fuss. Eventually, it got so bad that she was sectioned when I was about 9 or 10.

I'm writing this because I want to know that anyone out there who feels the same way about a parent - or both - is welcome on here and to PM me. I havent written this for sympathy - believe me - but because some friends of mine on here believed that this could help anyone in a similar situation and I believe so too.

All the best,


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Joined: Mon Apr 23, 2012 8:50 pm

Re: ftm and father issues

Post by oku888 » Tue May 01, 2012 8:25 pm

Nice to know that you finally say it to your parents.

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